Sex originates in the brain. Our thoughts, feelings, and intentions play a big role in determining how satisfying our sexual experiences will be. The Ultimate Sex occurs when your thoughts are focused on what’s happening with yourself and your partner in the moment (see Sex as a Meditation). When you are in the Present Moment, your mind is calmed but your thoughts do not cease. So what thoughts do you have? What are you feeling about yourself and your partner? What are your intentions?
In the Tantric tradition, the man represents the god Shiva. To his partner, he also represents every man that was ever born or that will ever be born. The woman is the goddess Shakti, Shiva’s wife. She represents all the women in the world to her partner. They approach sex as a sacred act; loving, tender, respectful, and timeless. Their focus is on the pleasure in the ever-lasting moment, not a possible future orgasm.
This God/Goddess attitude can enhance and extend your sexual encounters. It can be a powerful tool to help you manage your Pleasure Meter. (See Managing Your Pleasure Meter).
The God/Goddess Attitude
You are a god/goddess. You are Radiant, Immortal, Strong, Proud, Benevolent, and Powerful. You are Worshipped and Adored by countless people. Your Face and Body set a standard of true beauty that mere mortals try to imitate.
Your partner is also a god/goddess. They are also adored by countless people. You are humbled and honored that they choose to be with you of all people. They represent every man/woman, so they are exactly what you want them to be in the moment.
You are open to having your partner worship your body because you know that you are worthy of worship.
If you approach sex with this attitude and focus on yourself, your arousal will increase and you will approach an orgasm without effort.
Keep your thoughts on what is happening inside your body in the moment. Focus on the pleasure you are feeling right now. Don’t worry about having an orgasm, that’s a future thing. Appreciate your lover’s efforts, their beauty, their tender loving touch, their desire to be with you above all others.
Decreasing Arousal (Holdback)
If you want to extend your pleasure and back away from an orgasm, you just need to switch your focus from yourself to your Partner.
Take the focus off of your body, off of the pleasurable sensations you are feeling inside. Instead, put all of your attention on your Partner. Explore their body. Touch them in the ways you know they like. Worship them in a manner befitting of a god.
The Ultimate Sex occurs when you are able to attain a high level of arousal for an indefinite amount of time. Alternating your focus between internal thoughts about yourself and external thoughts about your partner can help you to achieve this effortlessly.